AVVIEO AND CELIET (full version)

MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
ok i'll stop now. presenting...The TRAGEDY (er. maybe comedy) of AVVIEO and CELIET!

We have not said much about Celiet. Celiet is part of the Celery faction of the Cel Veggion. That is all we really know about Celiet. Celiet, however, has some pretty…er…“interesting” stories. Which should be told from the eyes of the wonderful Cuci & Zuki. One of the most amusing stories to be told is the one of Avvieo and Celiet.

(There will be some mixing of fruits and vegetables. It cannot be helped. >___<)

Now, Celiet was a marVelous Veggie and Avvieo was a Foul Fruit. Most of Celiet’s people were nice and kind like Benvolio and most of Avvieo’s people were angry and evil like Tybalt. (Juliet and Benvolio are on the same side...Romeo and Tybalt are on the same side. Geh. Maybe we should switch Romeo and Juliet. LOL) marVelous Veggies did not cause many problems. Foul Fruits caused MANY MANY problems. This pair of star-crossed lovers does not take their life though, because that would be very annoying. LOL. But the story cannot go on forever, because then the onstage traffic would be far too long and boring.

Our story begins, yes, in The Area where Appie and Bannie (not Pearis, because Pearis has become Paris…who happens to be on the side of Romeo...maybe we should make Crystal a fruit? LOL no) get in a fight with Mr. Kiwi and Sir Guava, who are both merely defending themselves, but Appie is particularly violent (he will be Tybalt) and in the end the Foul Fruit are trying to slaughter all of the Veggies that are running away and trying to protect themselves. In the end the great K-Rotu breaks up the FF’s slaughtering and tells the FF never to attack the Veggies again or else they will all have to die and never be reincarnated!!! O_O The FF are VERY scared of the glorious K-Rotu and its KODA so they run off and leave the veggies in peace. Afterwards, Avvieo laments to his good friend Cuci (Cuci is such a great Hero, thus Romeo is awed by Cuci’s might. Cuci is also very nice and is friends with Romeo. Something like that) about his beautiful love, Ora. Cuci’s expression is kind of like: o_____o;;; And then: -_____- *zzz* Then Cuci says “I will make you see that your Fruit is not as good as other Veggies!” in great joy. (Avvieo is kind of insulted, but oh well.)

Pearis asks Lord Celery for the hand in marriage of Celiet. Lord Celerey sends off a servant with party invitations who asks Cuci and Avvieo about the guest list. Cuci persuades Avvieo to go to the party where Ora will be present with other females. Lady Celery and Nurse Celery ask Celiet about a possible proposal to Pearis. Celiet doesn’t really object (because she has not yet met Avvieo).

Spinny (Mercutio…because he’s related to me (the great K-Rotu). Hopefully he doesn’t really have Mercutio’s character. LOL) talks about fairies to mock Avvieo. Lord Celery welcomes Avvieo & Co. Avvieo refuses to dance but sees the “rich jewel in Ethiop’s ear” that Celiet is and is completely in love…er…well, maybe not. But still. Appie realizes who it is and is VERY VERY MAD. Lord Celery slaps Appie (oh! oh!) Avvieo & Celiet fall in love and then realize that he is a Fruit and she is a Veggie. (I can’t believe they couldn’t tell earlier. Yeesh.)

(end Act 1)

Avvieo climbs into the Celery patch to search for Celiet. Cuci and Spinny cannot find Avvieo. Celiet is too outspoken and confesses to a patch of weeds (not veggies so not “alive”). Avvieo overhears and they confess their love…er…let’s say “infatuation.” XD They talk about possibly going to the Water Area together. (LOL)

Avvieo talks to Carrie the Wise One (similar enough to a Friar? or not) who says she’ll let them go to the Water Area (*gasp* the horror!). Avvieo meets Cuci and Spinny and beats Spinny in a “battle of wits” (how that happened I do not know…it’s kind of hard to win against him in a logic battle…V_V). Nurse Celery finds Avvieo who tells her that they will go to the Water Area that afternoon. Celiet is extremely impatient and is yelling “TELL ME TELL ME TELL ME!” to Nurse Celery, who finally delivers the news. Afterwards, Avvieo and Celiet finally go to the Water Area.

(end Act 2)

Spinny and Cuci encounter Appie on the street. When Avvieo arrives, Appie tries to attack Avvieo but Avvieo is completely in love with his wonderful (?) Celiet and refuses to attack Celiet’s…er…relative? Let’s just say that Appie is a family friend from a LONG LONG time ago before there was this family grudge thing, okay? Okay. Good. Spinny, being weird, decides to duel Appie; Spinny uses its magical spinach powers and Appie uses its violent apple powers. Unfortunately, violence wins over magic, and Spinny loses with a cry, “I lost!” (Which makes Appie very mad, because Appie is forced to say “I lost” because of the game. If you don’t know what this means, you don’t want to. XD) Avvieo tries to avenge Spinny and makes Appie say “I lost.” V____V; The glorious K-rotu arrives and Cuci tells K-rotu the truth about what happened and tries to make K-rotu let Avvieo free, but K-rotu dislikes fruits (i.e. both Appie and Avvieo). Due to Cuci’s pleading it instead makes Avvieo leave and go to Condiment Colony.

Celiet daydreams about Avvieo…a lot. >__<>

Pearis speaks to Lord Celery about a possible engagement to Celiet. The next day Lord Celery tells Celiet, who refuses angrily and decides to ask Carrie for help.

(end act 3)

Pearis is telling Carrie about the wonderful details of his coming marriage with Celiet. Carrie is not amused and is wondering just how stupid Pearis can be. Celiet arrives and has a very…er…INTERESTING conversation with Pearis. (Both Celiet and Pearis are very special people, see.) After Pearis leaves (Carrie threatened Pearis with its Evil Eye), Celiet cries, “I’ll get a Kitchen Monster to kill me if I can’t be together with Avvieo and have to marry that ugly Pearis!!!” Carrie says, “Um…wait…isn’t Avvieo ugly too?” Celiet is like, “SHUT UP!” Carrie does a veggie-shrug and says, “Well, as long as I’m not guilty…” (No, Carrie would not really say this. But Friar Lawrence has a particular character…) Carrie brings out a vial of Condiment Soda. “You have to drink this!” Celiet looks at the Condiment Soda suspiciously. “NOW!!!” demands Carrie (now using the Evil Eye so Celiet must obey). Celiet drinks it but feels perfectly fine. “Okay,” says Carrie, who is tired and decides to take a nap. Celiet cannot wake it back up and can only leave.

Celiet goes home and pretends to be very nice. Lord and Lady Celery are a little suspicious but too happy to care. They do a little dance. Kind of like the Bollywood dancing. You know, all of a sudden everything is bright and colorful and a bunch of random dancers appear and everyone sings. “Something something…light and sound…the joyful union two souls have found…” something like that. And mix in a few veggie words (but Pearis is a fruit). They decide to have Celiet marry the next day because they’re special like that. XD

Celiet yells at Nurse Celery to get out of her room and Nurse obeys (because Celiet often gets in such moods). She prepares to start feeling dead. However, she does not feel a thing. What happened? Was Carrie’s potion the wrong one? DUN DUN DUN!!!

Now, what REALLY happened was this: Carrie accidentally put the condiments in the wrong order. She should have put salt, pepper, Mrs. Dash, and then fennel seeds, but instead she put the Mrs. Dash before everything else. The Condiment Soda, therefore, did nothing.

Yes, it did nothing. But when that regards Celiet, however, it is a very very bad thing. It means that Celiet will become hyper. Very, very hyper. Celiet will become a very very scary celery. And no one wants to know what a very very scary celery will do.

Celiet hops around…or something like that. Celiet moves. Celiet has a Kitchen Monster assassin working for it. Probably Butter Knife, because Celiet doesn’t want to pay too much and Butter Knife is fairly cheap. But NOBODY KNOWS (stealing your line, Sam! Lol) because Butter Knife is dressed like a Ninja (still not nearly as cool as Zuki’s Ninja-Thief ways though). Anyhow, Celiet orders Butter Knife to assassinate Pearis. Which Butter Knife does quite easily…well. How easily does a butter knife generally cut pears? I do not know, because I have not tried it yet. Well, one day someone will, and that someone should tell me how difficult it is. Celiet puts Pearis’s body in her bed and calls up the musicians. Celiet pretends to be Pearis and walks in upon a dead Pearis (who is “dead” and someone dressed Pearis up as a girl. A very good make-up artist. Maybe it’s Cuci and Tomy who did Brocci’s make-up that day, right? Well). Celery happen to have bad eyesight (Celiet wears glasses with pretty strong prescription) so no one notices that it’s really Pearis. Celiet pretends to be Pearis and bawls out all of her tears from missing Avvieo. Pearis is put in Celiet’s tomb. Celiet does as little peace/victory/veggie sign because she has finally gotten rid of the annoying Pearis. ^___^;

(end act 4)

Avvieo hears that Celiet is dead from his servant. Avvieo rejoices…oh wait, no. Avvieo is very sad and goes down to the tomb and sees “Celiet”…bug, GASP! It’s Pearis! Or is it? Avvieo’s eyesight might be even worse than that of most celery. Avvieo isn’t sure whether it’s Celiet or Pearis. “Well,” he thinks, “I’m not really sure. Why don’t I go outside for a swim to cool my head off so that I can think properly?” So he goes outside and starts swimming. He keeps swimming. On and on. And on. And on…

Meanwhile, Celiet has run off with Avvieo’s servant. Does anyone know the name of Avvieo’s servant? Not me! No one can remember the name Balthasar! I mean, whatever the name of the servant is. It should be a hard-to-remember name. Or maybe nobody knows. =P Or maybe it’s something like Pomegranate. Celiet runs off with Pomegrasar. Maybe Pommie for short. HAHAHA. Or something.

Anyway, Avvieo is still swimming, on and on. He’s kind of tired. But he still can’t see whether it’s Pearis or Celiet that is dead (he’s hallucinating that the corpse is in front of him now, he’s so tired, he has so much sleep debt). He loses consciousness and drowns. Then he floats back up…and drowns again. This happens several times because it takes a bit of time for the dim-witted Avvieo to realize what is happening (he’s unconscious half of the time too). When he finally manages to get enough energy to swim, he is strange and tries to be like Jesus and walk on water. He fails miserably and gets into the Drowning Cycle again. Finally, a nice little shark comes along. This nice little shark is lost and asks Avvieo how it can get to Veggie Land. Avvieo is a cruel fruit and tells the nice little shark that it couldn’t possibly survive in Veggie Land. Thus, the nice little shark becomes a not-so-nice, rather large shark. This not-so-nice, rather large shark decides to gobble him up. And thus Avvieo dies.

Celiet kind of forgot about Avvieo. She was obsessing over Pommie. Maybe this whole R&J story will happen again, except about Celiet and Pommie instead. And then we’ll have another new character introduced each time. Haha. Just kidding. Celiet and Pommie will remain together forever. Did I mention that forever is a day? =P

Yes, I’m cruel. But never fear, for this is the end! Good bye and good day.